It happens to all of us. At some point in our lives, we are involved in an unhealthy and harmful relationship. Some of us may be born into situations of abuse, be it mental/physical/sexual/emotional. Some of us form ties by choice with individuals who later show themselves to be damaging to our well being, or we simply find ourselves enmeshed with people who for whatever reason slowly poison the waters of our soul.
I have a dear and very young friend who is going through this painful process. I was there in the first days of her life, and have been there to watch her grow into the beautiful young adult that she is. She is the type of person that sparkles with life and enthusiasm, but I have lately seen that light slowly dying in her eyes. I see her being systematically ground down like a flower being crushed with a mortar and pestle. This is what toxic relationships do. They burn, tear, and scorch the beauty of the individual.
It seems so easy from a logical standpoint to simply leave these situations. But, it is not that easy is it? Human relationships are anything but clean and sensible. They can be messy, complex, and ugly at times. Some of the most excruciating moments are when we are faced with the decision to cut people loose from our lives like the threads of a fabric that can no longer be allowed to remain, lest they ruin the piece as a whole.
Yet there is hope, and another decision to be made on the heels of leaving. It is the choice of either allowing the experience to leave us bitter with disappointment and heartbreak, or choosing to forgive so that our wounds can become heal and become scars that no longer bleed when touched. Not ‘pretending nothing happened’, but releasing that person from your vengeance and wrath, so you can move on untethered by hate.
- *3/2016 Update~ My friend has since obtained a divorce from this man, who was eventually diagnosed a clinical ‘Narrcisist’ and ‘Sociopath’. She is in the process of recovering from her experience, as well as seeking professional counsel in order to heal any part of herself that may have been vulnerable to the victimization of this type of person.
Recipe of the Week
~Whole Wheat Pumpkin Honey Muffins with Cream Cheese Swirl~
~1 1/2 cups whole good quality whole wheat flour (King Arthur)
~2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
~1 tsp baking soda
~1/2 tsp baking powder
~1/4 tsp salt
~1/2 cup coconut oil
~1/2 cup raw honey
~ 1 cup pumpkin puree
~1 tsp vanilla
~3/4 cup chopped walnuts
Combine dry ing and make well in center. Add remaining ing and gently fold in until just incorporated.
Cream Cheese Swirl:
~8 oz cream cheese
~1/2 cup raw honey
Mix until smooth.
Line a cupcake pan with wrappers and spoon batter 1/4 way in cup, spoon cream cheese to 1/2 way, then top to 3/4 full with another spoon of batter. Makes approx. 6-8 muffins. Bake at 350 degrees for 19 min.