20 In all/ Health & Wellness

Journey To The ‘Now’ ~ My Story on the Path With Chronic Illness

    I couldn’t really tell you how long I have had Fibromyalgia (FMS).  There are symptoms that go back to 13yrs old.  This was when RLS first came into the picture, and I was experiencing bouts of debilitating stomach aches as well as IBS.  My childhood was by no means equal to a few of the horror stories I’ve had the privelage of hearing over the years, but there was sexual abuse and emotional neglect.  I met my husband when I was 15 years old, and because both of us were coming from abusive pasts (D’s story is probably the worst story I know), we were less than capable of creating a healthy relationship with each other.  But, we were each other’s best friend, and it was him and I against the world.

     I was married at 19 and had my first child at 26.  Two years later I had my second.  Now, things had been slowly deteriorating between ‘D’ and I.  There was no way it could not with two damaged individuals on their own trying to create what each thought was the ‘way it was supposed to be’.  We started to attend a church with a very unusual pastor who was skilled at the art of counseling, and began a long journey of destroying the old and rebuilding the new.  We went through some seriously hellish times, but came to a place after a few years where our marriage was able to withstand us then going to work on ourselves and our pasts  both individually in counseling as well as together in a ‘couples group’.

My journey to the 'now' with chronic illness

     It was at this time (around 12 years ago) that I began to work through my past in a sexual abuse group, as well as one on one sessions with a counselor.  Things got bad, really bad, both physically as well as mentally.  The old saying, ‘It gets worse before it gets better’ is true.  ‘D’ and I were still not on the other side of our past together, memories were resurfacing, confrontations with my parents were had, and the stress of everyday life with two small children was taking it’s toll.  I experienced severe depression, feelings at times of ‘going crazy’, anger that manifested as rage, and the start of what I know now as full blown FMS.  I started to have;  severe pains in my lower pelvis (which turned out to be endometriosis and large uterine fibroids), rapid weight gain (30lbs in 4 mo. without a change in diet), severe IBS, migraines, extreme fatigue, all over body pain (especially in shoulders/legs/feet), dizziness, nausea, PTSD symptoms, ect.  Of course, the doctors had no idea what was wrong with me and looked at me like I was, at best, a hypochondriac, or at worse, unbalanced.  Finally in 2014 I found an excellent doctor who was able to give a diagnosis.

     ‘D’ and I are now on the other side of all the work we did together, both in our relationship together, and individually on ourselves and our pasts. The only reason we are here and can tell our stories with hope is because of Jesus Christ (you may not believe in Him, but your belief is not a requirement of His reality).   Our marriage is better than it has ever been, we are still each other’s best friend, and like all wounds that heal, the scars that they leave behind no longer hurt to touch but remain a visible reminder of where we’ve been and how we can help others who may still be bleeding out. However, years of stress on the nervous system and a nasty bout with Epstein Barr causes damage, and FMS still remains.

      ‘D’ and I ~ 2014

Needless to say when I read the hateful articles and comments of those individuals who would judge FMS as ‘imaginary’ or ‘all in their heads’, it angers me to no end.  There will always be ignorant people, and there will always be those individuals who knowingly choose to be toxic and cruel with their words.  But we are here.    Our stories are real, and so are our ‘invisible illnesses’.  Thank you all for the stories and struggles you have shared on your blogs.  There is a strength of spirit and hopeful perseverance in those written words, and I am grateful for the encouragement I receive from them.  FIGHT ON MY SISTERS and BROTHERS!

fib

 

Enjoy 'ALWR' ?...Click here to SUBSCRIBE today and receive a FREE download & NEVER miss a post again!

'Fig'ments Of My Imaginings ~ 4 Things To Brighten Your Summer Day
Discouraged ~ 2 Ways Not Judge That Help You As Well

You Might Also Like

20 Comments

  • Reply
    Bri with Simple Delights
    July 8 at 11:18 am

    Thank you for being so open and honest. Your experience is going to help so many people through your blog. Keep up the great work, warrior!! 🙂

    • Reply
      kristine
      July 8 at 2:59 pm

      Thank you Bri! I appreciate the encouragement 🙂

  • Reply
    April
    July 9 at 11:08 am

    Stopped by to visit from the Inspiration 2 linky party. Thanks for sharing your story and being so honest. I can’t believe anyone would think FMS was fake. People are crazy! Redemption in Jesus is so beautiful-I am blessed to hear your story.

    • Reply
      kristine
      July 9 at 2:16 pm

      Thank you so much April! I appreciate that very much! 😉

  • Reply
    Jenny
    July 12 at 7:49 pm

    My sister can so relate to this as she is always getting from friends (not really friends) others and even family saying it’s all in her head. i wish I could help her somehow and your blog always helps me get insight into what she deals with day in and day out. Great recipes to go along side it too. I am always sending them to her. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

    • Reply
      kristine
      July 12 at 9:20 pm

      Thank you so much Jenny! It IS NOT all in her head! Thankfully more research is being done all the time and legitimacy is being brought to this disease. So glad to be of help though! 🙂

  • Reply
    Brandi Clevinger
    July 13 at 8:04 am

    It sounds as though y’all have been through a lot, and it’s admirable that y’all are working it out and not abandoning your relationship. I’ve had a doctor tell me that my chronic pain wasn’t real and it was just part of being a mom. And then he told me to suck it up and press on. Ugh…those people, the ones that took an oath to help their patients, make me sick. Prayers for you and your husband.

    There is a new linkup I’m hosting every Friday for spoonie bloggers to linkup posts about chronic illness. I’d love for you to join us! http://www.beingfibromom.com/chronic-friday-linkup-1/

    Gentle hugs, Brandi, Being Fibro Mom

    • Reply
      kristine
      July 13 at 10:24 am

      Thank you Brandi! Will do! 🙂

  • Reply
    Tina Muir
    July 13 at 10:51 am

    Sounds delicious! YUM! Thanks so much for linking up with us for meatless monday!

  • Reply
    Brandi Clevinger
    July 13 at 11:32 am

    Thank you for sharing your post at #ChronicFridayLinkup . I have pinned this post to the Chronic Friday Linkup board at http://www.Pinterest.com/beingfibromom

  • Reply
    Deborah Brooks
    July 13 at 12:14 pm

    ooh yum looks so decadent! Thanks for linking up for meatless monday and bringing your yummy recipe.

  • Reply
    Marla
    July 16 at 5:32 am

    Hi Red,
    Just a note to let you know that I have chosen your post as one of my features for this weeks Real Food Fridays blog hop that goes live every Thursday @ 7 pm EST. Thanks for being part of Real Food Fridays blog hop and sharing your valuable information with us.

    • Reply
      kristine
      July 16 at 8:53 am

      THanks so much Marla! Will promote 🙂

  • Reply
    Real Food Fridays #97 – Healthy, Organic, and Real Food
    July 16 at 4:01 pm

    […]  Red From a Life Well Red – Raspberry Strawberries Fruit Salad […]

  • Reply
    Sunday
    May 11 at 5:20 pm

    If only all men stood by their partners side when chronic illness rears it’s head. It’s amazing how “looking healthy ” means you are healthy and able to do everything like before! Yes, it destroyed my relationship with my ex and the most painful part , was not having his support. You are very fortunate to have made it through the other side.

    • Reply
      kristine
      May 11 at 5:31 pm

      Thank you Sunday. All my love and best to you ~ ♥

  • Reply
    Teresa
    August 25 at 4:45 am

    God bless you Kristine. What a beautiful story of healing and redemption. I realize that undiagnosed chronic illness is terrible, you know your own body and you know that something is wrong with you, but no one really believes you, and doctors aren’t diagnosing it. I’m thankful you were diagnosed and were able to get help for your physical diagnosis and for the mental and emotional trauma in your life. God has a plan! You will be able to give hope to others through your story.

    • Reply
      kristine
      August 25 at 6:13 am

      Thank you for such kind words Teresa 🙂 I agree with you 100%! God has been unbelievably merciful and kind in His dealings with me. Thank you again for your comment ♥

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    June 17 at 5:16 pm

    My, oh my, I could have written a large portion of this myself, at least the medical and emotional parts. I’ve still yet to find a doctor who is sympathetic to my cause AND who is also non-judgmental of my past history of drug abuse (though, to be honest, I never used in a destructive nature, I just needed to take the edge off the pain 🙁 …), So I’m left between a rock and a hard place. I’m very open and honest about my history and have to reason to be anything but transparent, yet physicians always tend to err on the side of caution and write yet another rx for ibuprofen and send me on my way. But, to be fair, why should they believe ME? What would make my story any more believable than the presumably endless stream off addicts doctor shopping? Living in the bay area, there certainly are a lot of them! But, I understand their hesitation, it’s just so very frustrating to me because I genuinely need help on so many levels. I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I could just relate to your story and wanted to share. Take care. Sending positive thoughts and love from Oakland,
    Jennifer

    • Reply
      kristine
      June 18 at 12:46 pm

      Thank you Jennifer! It really is such a shame that because of drug abuse, doctors are increasingly reticent to perscribe pain relievers…oh well, thankfully there are many alternative form of pain relief out there…just need to find one that works in ea. individual case. Have a good one 😉

    Leave a Reply

    CommentLuv badge

    Read previous post:
    Discouraged ~ 2 Ways Not Judge That Help You As Well

    So here's a couple things that suck: 1.  I have been eating very healthy, staying as active as I can,...

    Close