34 In all/ House & Home

The Nest Is Never Empty ~ Another Perspective On Being An ‘Empty Nester’

If you never stop building it.

I was recently asked if I had any advice for the parents of young children in our church.  You may be surprised at what that advice was.  It had nothing to do with spending quality time with your kids, or the pros and cons of home schooling.  My advice was this; work on your marriage.

“D” and I have been married for 29 years.  About 16 years ago, a counselor told us that children were the ‘leaving’ part of the marriage.  That stuck with us, and although we love our two boys with all our hearts, we parented with that thought in mind.  We poured blood, sweat, and tears into our marriage relationship.  Now we are about to be ’empty nesters’.  Although there is a sense of sadness that our time living with the boys is over, there is also an excitement we feel knowing it’s the ‘two of us’ again, only much better than when we first began.

Which brings me to my ‘moment’ for the week.  ‘D’ and I were shopping the other day with our youngest.  We were wandering the aisles of Costco, when I realized we were ‘together’ just enjoying each other’s company.  It was a bittersweet moment knowing time spent like that was soon coming to an end.

  Our two sons are men of excellent character and integrity.  We let them go knowing we’ve been imperfect parents who failed them many times, but loved them with all we had.  Now we turn to each other and plan the next phase of our lives…together.

boys

~

~Fresh Pineapple Smoothie w/Black Berry Compote~

~2 pints fresh blackberries

~2 tsp water

~1 tbsp. raw organic honey

Cook over low heat stirring often until starts to thicken.  Refrigerate.

smoothie1

~fresh pineapple core (the part you normally throw away), frozen

~1 cup coconut or almond milk

~1/2 tbsp. ground flax seed (optional)

~4 ice cubes

Blend on high until smooth and top with cold compote.

smoothie2

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34 Comments

  • Reply
    Tina Muir
    June 15 at 10:14 am

    Deeeelightful! This sounds delicious! Thanks so much for linking up, how perfect for these hot summer days! Oh and 29 years, congratulations, you truly have figured it out 🙂

    • Reply
      Red
      June 15 at 2:15 pm

      Thank you for the kind words Tina, I don’t know about ‘figured out’, but we’ve been saved from ourselves by a God who loves us. Have a wonderful day Tina! 🙂

  • Reply
    Deborah Brooks
    June 15 at 2:17 pm

    i’ve been thinking a lot about being an empty nester too. My oldest is graduating tomorrow! My youngest is in HS. It will be weird to be alone with the hubs after all these years. This looks refreshing and great for summer. Thanks for linking up!

    • Reply
      Red
      June 15 at 5:27 pm

      Have a wonderful time at graduation! Congrats! 🙂

  • Reply
    jill conyers
    June 17 at 1:48 am

    With my son graduating from high school and starting college I’ve had the same thoughts on my mind. Thanks for sharing. #fitfamlove

    • Reply
      Red
      June 17 at 2:32 am

      Your welcome Jill! It’s an ambivalent time for us all!

  • Reply
    Gentle Joy
    June 17 at 7:15 am

    Your smoothie looks delicious and so healthy. 🙂

    • Reply
      Red
      June 17 at 12:10 pm

      Thanks Joy! It is GOOD!

  • Reply
    Bri with Simple Delights
    June 17 at 12:17 pm

    This post was so touching. Thank you for your open words. As a newlywed, this is very insightful. We want to be parents someday and it will be important to keep our marriage strong. I also loved your point about you and your son at Costco. I feel the same way with my parents. Whenever I am with them just enjoying their company I pause and smile. Savoring it up!

    • Reply
      Red
      June 17 at 2:53 pm

      Thanks Bri, I’m so glad you connected with this post. Enjoy your time together and don’t get pressured to have kids before you’re ready. 😉

  • Reply
    Kirsten Toyne
    June 17 at 10:31 pm

    So true. I can’t imagine it yet as my boys are still young but my husband and I will be what remains. Thanks for this thought provoking post. #sharewithme

    • Reply
      Red
      June 17 at 11:57 pm

      Your welcome Kirsten! Thanks for stopping by! 😉

  • Reply
    Merlinda Little
    June 19 at 5:22 am

    Reading this made me want to hug my son. He is at school at this moment and its his 5th birthday. Where have the time gone was the first thought that came to me this morning. And this post made me think more. I think I need to really enjoy the moment with my son while he is still young and still with us in our house. I will hug him tight when we pick him up in school not only because its his birthday but I suddenly miss him after this post. #sharewithme

    • Reply
      Red
      June 19 at 9:21 am

      Thank you Merlinda. What a beautiful comment. Hope he has a truly wonderful birthday! 🙂

  • Reply
    Marla
    June 19 at 10:42 am

    I love your story about your family. It must be bittersweet to be empty nesters. I know many parents that look forward to and then others that don’t. It good to hear that it sounds like your going to be starting a new exciting chapter in your life. Love your smoothie recipe too. Thanks for sharing on Real Food Fridays. Pinned & twitted.

    • Reply
      Red
      June 19 at 10:48 am

      Thank you Marla! It will be a slight adjustment, but a ‘sure’ thing in life is that everything changes. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  • Reply
    All that's Jas
    June 19 at 12:42 pm

    Kids leaving the nest is bittersweet, but that drink looks just sweet! Yum 🙂 Thanks for sharing with Thursday Favorite Things and hope you have an amazing weekend!

    • Reply
      Red
      June 19 at 1:44 pm

      Thank you Jas! You have a great weekend also! 😉

  • Reply
    Jenny
    June 21 at 7:24 am

    I think that’s the very best advice I have ever heard. I am constantly saying that we need to “keep the fire going” work on us and our marriage and relationship as when the kids are gone it will only be us at home and we need a solid foundation for that to survive. I think too many give up too easily and stop communicating. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

    • Reply
      Red
      June 21 at 8:58 am

      Oh boy, communication is the hardest thing! Have to be constantly working at it, but it is worth it. 😉

  • Reply
    Deborah Davis
    June 22 at 7:30 pm

    Yummy!I love to include healthy, nutritious smoothies in my diet in a variety of ways, so I am delighted that you shared your delectable Fresh Pineapple Smoothie w/Black Berry Compote recipe with us on the Healthy Happy Green and Natural Party Blog Hop. I’m pinning and sharing.

    • Reply
      Red
      June 22 at 10:50 pm

      Thank you Deborah, smoothies are such an quick and easy way to get power packed nutrition. Have wonderful day! 😉

    • Reply
      Red
      June 22 at 11:12 pm

      I can’t help it, I love Autumn ALL YEAR LONG! 😉

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  • Reply
    Deborah Davis
    June 24 at 7:39 pm

    I heartily agree that it is so important to work on your marriage for the very reasons that you shared. I have been happily married for many years and the relationship is strong. If parents are not happy and in sync, this will affect the tone and tenor of the home and the entire family.I am also delighted that you shared your Fresh Pineapple Smoothie w/Black Berry Compote with us on the Plant-Based Potluck Party Link Up. I appreciate it and I can’t wait to try your recipe. I’m pinning and sharing.

    • Reply
      Red
      June 24 at 8:06 pm

      Thanks Deborah! We here so many unhappy marriage stories, it is encouraging to hear the good ones too. Have a terrific week 😉

  • Reply
    Marla
    June 25 at 5:51 am

    Hi Red,
    Just a note to let you know that I have chosen your post as one of features for this weeks Real Food Fridays blog hop. Thanks for sharing and being part of Real Food Fridays. Look forward to seeing your post each week.

    • Reply
      Red
      June 25 at 9:21 am

      WOW! Thank you Marla! Will promote, thanks again:)

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