So here’s a couple things that suck:
1. I have been eating very healthy, staying as active as I can, and generally feeling upbeat about my appearance and health. Over the last 4 weeks I thought I had lost about 5 lbs! If you have FMS, or CFS, or any other chronic illness, you know how huge of an accomplishment this is. Most people don’t understand that most of us are NOT overeating, we ARE consuming nutritious foods a majority of the time, and are diligent when it comes to pursuing weight loss and health…but no matter how hard we try, we have a hell of a time losing weight (if at all) that used to drop off fairly quickly before our bodies started to ‘donkey out’ on us. So, yesterday the scale kept reading ERROR and the numbers were flying all over the place. Scale in trash, off to buy new one. Stepped on new scale…
No 5lb weight loss, back where I was and a little more….I can’t even convey to you how discouraged I feel. Either the new scale is right on and the old one had been going on the fritz for weeks showing false weight loss, or new scale would have shown me higher to begin with and I have lost some weight, or….I don’t even know. I try so damn hard and I’m having a hard time at this moment feeling the slightest motivation to keep trying, although the alternative is unacceptable (to give up). And , yes, I know how pathetic all this sounds and how much I’ll regret posting this approximately 1 minute after I hit ‘publish’. If you knew me, you’d know I do NOT open up about things this important to me. In fact, I will not be promoting this on my Facebook page, because I do not want people I see personally, reading this. I’m reaching out to my fellow ‘Spoonies’, do any of you deal with this nonsense? What do you do?
And that leads me to ‘This Sucks’ #2:
2. On top of ‘my fun with scales’ yesterday, I was doing a little research on FMS and CFS when I saw a suggested topic that read ‘Fibromyalgia Crazy’, and I clicked it…..
Wow. Now I understand the reason for the purple ‘FMS Awareness’ butterfly on my sidebar. I cannot believe the venomous, hate-filled tirades that are out there on Fibromyalgia. A lot of these are written by people in the medical profession! Whole articles on why FMS is ‘all in the heads’ of these hypochondriac ‘crazies’ who no more have a legitimate illness than an individual with psychological issues who spins lies to seek attention. It was like watching a car accident, profoundly upsetting, but I couldn’t look away! I was worked up and crying when ‘D’ found me and gave me a lesson in how some people out there are simply nasty as****** who, to quote Alfred Pennyworth, “…just want to see the world burn.”.
All I gots to say is this…be very careful how you judge another…very careful. You may think weight loss is simply a formula of calories in/calories out, or if the overweight just went to the gym they wouldn’t be fat. Or, you may feel great and therefore cannot understand these ‘crazies’ who complain they are in pain all the time when the doctors can find no discernible reason for their health issues. Walk a mile my friend, walk a mile. Understanding a thing is not what makes it legitimate. 1000 years ago, people did not ‘understand’ gravity, but they knew if they jumped off the cliff the out come would be less than stellar.
Well, I’m done here. If you read this whole rant, thanks. Really, I do appreciate your hangin’ in, and sorry if this was just a huge bummer to read. Sometimes you just have a bad day, but I did make a delicious and healthy quick bread, cause who am I kidding? I cannot give up…..onward we trudge….
~Whole Grain Red Wheat Raisin Walnut Bread~
~2 cups King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Wheat Flour
~1 tsp baking soda
~1 tsp baking powder
~1/2 tsp sea salt
~1/2 cup refined coconut oil
~1/2 cup raw honey
~1/3 cup raisins
~1/3 cup chopped walnuts
~2 tbsp. ground flax seed
Mix dry ing separate. Mix wet ing and gently add dry until just incorporated. Gently stir in raisins, nuts, and seeds. Pour into loaf pan and bake at 325 for approx. 30-35 min test with knife in middle.