all Mental Health

3 Major Stressors And 3 Basic Solutions

November 1

There is no ‘if’, only ‘when’.

Stress is the killer of ‘control’. I can say without a doubt that the times in my life when I have ‘acted badly’, I have been stressed out. For me, there are 3 major stressors and 3 basic solutions.

We have become a world of people who often choose to  behave badly. I’m sure there are many reasons for this, but I believe one of the main factors causing our emotions  to be on a ‘hair trigger’ is the increasing amount of pressure in our lives. Spanning all across the board from the vast political world stage, to the routine lives of everyday people, there is a growing tension that can not only be felt but also seen through people’s noxious choices.
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Just sit back quietly and observe. I mean, people are losing it, right?!? If everyone had tiny pressure gauges hovering just above their heads, you would see millions of itty bitty needles sitting ‘in the red’. I’m one of them. The hits just keep on coming, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to let up any time soon.

There are however, two sides to the ‘stress coin’. On one side lies circumstance. This is something that is so often out of our control. On the other side is response. ‘Response’ is the tricky one, because therein lies the realm of personal responsibility. Personal responsibility means that there will be no one left to blame but myself  if I handle the situation incorrectly.

Even the dogs are throwing tantrums!:

 

~

I have often said (and truly believe) that 5% of the ‘bad’ things that happen to us are circumstantial, and beyond our ability to control. But, about 95% of the problems we end up dealing with are because of our own poor choices. When I react with a less than optimal response out of stress, I inevitably end up shoveling even more hardship onto the pile that I now have deal with on top of everything else.

Coping correctly under pressure is a skill. We will save ourselves, and those around us, immense heartache if we learn how to practice creating responses that are characterized by ‘measured control’:

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3 Major Stressors And 3 Basic Solutions

Physical Stress ~ Yes, I often (often!) feel lousy. Knowing this, I have learned to be aware of my ‘patterns’. Frequently, I can predict when I will feel at my worse and subsequently, when I will most likely have the energy needed for a task. If at all possible, I arrange my schedule around my ‘good time’. Mid-morning for me is best, and I almost NEVER plan anything in the late afternoon hours, knowing this is usually a difficult time for me. Self-care also falls into this category: Scheduling periods of ‘rest’ has become a necessity for both my mental and physical well-being (which in turn benefits those around me).

Financial Stress ~ There just never seems to be enough $…or is there? Honestly, my financial situation has not improved, but my perception of it has. I’ve learned to choose not to be bummed out that my $1000 in savings is now being depleted by the fact that my dog has an abcessed tooth that needs dealing with. Or, the fact that we were ahead for the month, then the tire on my car blew out which caused us to just ‘break even’ for the month. How do I look at this and not get anxious? Because, there was provision for what was needed when I needed it. No, I don’t have an extra $1500 sitting in my savings account racking up interest. What I do have is a healthy pup, and a safe vehicle…I can be depressed or thankful…my choice.

Relational Stress ~ Simply put? Cut out the DRAMA, and CONTROL YOUR TONGUE! Following a simple rule could be the key: ‘If you have something to say about a person that you would not say to them face to face…KEEP IT IN YOUR HEAD! For so many of us, simply thinking more about what we say before it comes out of our mouths could save us from that ol’ life sapper known as; ‘Unnecessary Conflict’!

What suggestions do you have to lessen the relentless parade of stress in life? Please comment below to let me know. I welcome all the good advice I can get! 😉

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3 Major Stressors And 3 Basic Solutions

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8 Comments

  • Reply Cat aka TimeyWimeyGirl7 November 1 at 7:35 pm

    Hi! Oh how relevant this topic is for most
    Of our lives mine included. I find that some of my stress of course comes from worry. I do my best to focus on what I can do and let the rest go as much as possible and remind myself when I find that I am entering that spiral of worry.

    I also find that sometimes stress is handed to me. I tend to roll with things and do the best I can and let the rest go. My fiancée on the other hand has OCD in that everything must be in its place or he sees things as being “a pigsty” but realistically often it’s just the Bills I need to remember to pay are on the coffee table next to me. I find it frustrating but I try to find work arounds because I realize that he can’t control some of it.
    I also end up being the “middleman” of communication with the men in my family. Greg wants Jeremy to do something or is frustrated that he hasn’t done something. So he comes to me instead of just talking to Jeremy. I am working on them both because it isn’t fair to me to dump extra unnecessary stress on me when it’s the last thing i need. But I’m working on it which is a good thing.

    I try to look on the bright side of things as much as possible. But I also find that I try to lift up and relieve others stress and sometimes it ends up that I’m more stressed and I’m not even sure it helps sometimes (example. My fiancée is looking for work, type A OCD personality who worked his entire life at one company but they went out of business leaving him behind where he had worked so hard to get. I know he’s stressed. I do what I can to alleviate or lessen but it’s his stress not mine and he needs to find other ways of relieving it)!

    • Reply kristine November 2 at 11:35 am

      Thank you for that Cat! You have a good outlook on the situation, it can be tough. At least he’s the ideal employee! I would want a type A working for me if I had a business! 😉 Good luck to both of you ♥

  • Reply Jennifer November 3 at 8:02 pm

    I wholeheartedly agree with your 95% of our problems are a result of our own poor choices. Although it’s sometimes difficult to admit fault, when we take responsibility for our actions (or inaction), we also gain control over the situation and our lives and are no longer victims.

    I also try to adopt the “I’m going to be in pain anyway” mindset when I try to use my pain to avoid doing things or going places. I think many fibro sufferers have to fight the tendency to become hermits. Of course, we have to make sure we’re not overdoing it, but I personally must be careful not to become too much of a homebody. It’s “easier” to just stay home, but when I choose to go for dinner with friends, or accept an invite to someone’s house to socialize, I’m always glad that I went. When I’m tempted to call and cancel, I remind myself that I’m going to be in pain anyway. I love my friends and family and I think it’s especially important for us to maintain those relationships.

    • Reply kristine November 4 at 12:03 am

      Right on Jennifer! Agree 100%! Thank you for sharing your outlook. We all need to be reminded and encouraged in these areas 🙂

  • Reply Angela Rayburn November 5 at 4:40 am

    I so needed to hear this at this exact point in my life! When I find myself getting so stressed out to the point of illness I have to stop and tell myself that I don’t have to do anything but just get through today.. it helps me to not stress about things in the future or that are out of my control.

    • Reply kristine November 5 at 9:22 am

      So glad to hear this helped Angela! 🙂 ♥

  • Reply Nikki November 7 at 10:50 am

    Okay, did you write my name down and list the best ways for me to deal with the stress? LOL This is perfect. Things in our lives have been stressful for so long, we are tired. We breathe deep, pray, sleep, relax as much as we can. And we keep on moving. The thing that works best for me is to lay down and watch tv for a bit, relaxing and getting out of my own head for an hour is so good. I also take a bath each night, trying to just let go of the day. I look like the dog above, he and I could be great buddies. But I think we would be fighting over the bath! LOL
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    • Reply kristine November 8 at 12:51 pm

      HAHA! I’m with you Nikki! I lived in a place for a while that did not have a bathtub….Oh man, it is one of the great pleasures in life, and I hope to never have to give it up! 😉

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